im back home from malaysia,
thank you everyone for their wishes and concern,
especially the one that said,
" ... and stay fucking awesome "

i didnt really quite enjoy myself,
i was kind of... preoccupied. deep in thought,
so much so i forgotton to even bring my handphone along to malaysia,

many thanks to someone who gave me 100
to buy clothes, hahahaa,
not my parents*
its a female, i cant say or else,
people would be jealous hahaha.

anyway ive been too busy to even blog
about my korea trip.

hahahahaha.
after everything, i have decided to
buy a piano and resume learning it,
i want to express my feelings and thoughts,
through the songs i sing, the instruments i play,

and buy a bicycle so i can cycle at night and feel the breeze,
pouring out my troubles with every breath,


i have already thought it through,
many times on this trip,

if i were to get a gf,
i would treat her like shes the only princess in this world,
i would never make her angry or sad,
i would accept her for who she is,
i would never talk nonsense to give wrong ideas,
i would be there for her,
我可以陪你去看星星 , (damn anti-climax)
support her in everything she does,
not be a control freak,
protect her interests and look after her without her knowledge,
remove sleep & time from my dictionary,
lastly,
i would never question her &
i would have faith in her


* * *
the last time i felt so miserable was when,
my parents quarreled really bad,
they wanted a divorce that time,
and i guess me & my brother were the only reasons
keeping them together then,

now that feeling has surfaced again,
for another reason,
i guess this is called life,


being hated and avoided by the one you love so much

just hurts so much.

guys ((:
im not in singapore from saturday to tuesday.
coz im going back to malaysia to visit my relatives.
so ya.


anyway, i guess the position im in now,
is retribution? or is it fairness?
ppl say god is fair, so ok..

is this what i get for being so good at games?
having high iq & eq,
being so good at reading, understanding,
and so xialan

yes, i was a bastard before,
i liked to do bastard things, and put people down,
and suanning people,
i would abuse my influence to do many things
(things i deem good for others)
and it was bad because i was selfish in that sense.

i used to be very guai lan, making loads of enemies in the process,
also making loads of friends that way,
i used to have a high reputation,
was well received by everyone etc,
even though i was like that.
i knew my place.

now i have quietened down,
im back to be a shy, quiet boy,
i no longer go all the way out to find trouble
just for the thrill of it.

i have lost too many things, many precious things,
many uncountable friends,
trust

i can only hope to be forgiven.

i thought of this when i saw a picture of wl
smiling so happily with his old classmates.
he was tagged in it in facebook.

that smile was genuine.
how i wish i can smile like that in this day and time,
it has been a long time since i was able to do that,
just that picture alone made me jealous,

im going back this year again,
to pray to my grandfather in ipoh,
my wish has never changed,
since many years ago.

" i wish to be happy "

its 5am now.
i dunno wad i am doing awake,
doing nothing
do tears signify anything?
am i sad, am i happy, am i sane?
or just plain tired?
i do not know.
i wonder about many things.
it used to be this way before, now its happening again.

whats wrong with me?

wa chio la lol. ((: hehe damn sad.

anyway sorry all i have been afk for a long time.
i had some issues to settle so ya ((:
im back more or less.

yesterday quite tired, chatted on fone until 530am,
hahahaha, shag until sleep alr cant wake up,

hmmm ok. lately i have been into soccer betting.
erm, yeah, so far ive won two times this week.
one was $55. the other today was $65.


ok den.. to continue, these few days sucked actually.
really dunno wad im doing and thinking. lol.
the things i do, the things i say, everything
hahahahaha.

ok so onto the night cycling on saturday - sunday.

****

While waiting for wen to arrive, i ate this. a double whopper.
dun see see pic small wor. its imba, but i still very hungry T^T
i wanted order a triple de. but aiya save money lol

we set off around 10, first rest stop here.
emo road. lol. usually we no rest de but this time,
we got someone burden sia :x hehe.
this pic is taken using night mode if not wont so bright de,
even if wan take pic of bangla oso cannot.
**** alot chionging and talking nonsense ****

ok finally reach changi village.
saw alot trannys and stuff. den we look behind us, a group of
guys and gals chionging up the white bridge. but failed,
they pushed their bikes up LOL!
:D from this we knew they nt poly ppl alr :x :x :x :x

DEN HOH! the last guy was an indian,
eh i not being racist saying he burden or wad,
so please. LOL

i treat dem all coconut to eat and drink.
and ohya that night very sad, emily and the many chiobu nv come )):
hais LOL! :x

and zy noted the sign: " no touting "
knn everyone think think smlj is touting.
den we all think think, den know liao,
den we say, wa even we dunno,
how to old ppl know sia =.=

then those non-poly ppl sat near us, just a table
away from us, got like 6 gals, 5 guys,
i kept trying to see the indian LOL!
but he and 2 boys not there.

den we wan go hunt food de LOL!
den we cant leave our bikes there ma...
until i see they PARK BESIDE OUR BIKES.
yeahyeah got ppl look after le, so we jitao chiong
go buy food.

the queue was imba long la, pcb,
2 nasi lemak queues.
of coz that markt that night got afew chiobus woo, hehe

den wen go line up, i sibei sian i go buy hokkien mee,
den zy order oso, he eat nasi lemak + mee.


den eat eat liao, we sit sit talk talk, den we found out,
i dont know how la, they from vjc ((:

ok la so left them den go find trannys.
we keep cycle around, from far i saw
this fucking hot 1, i swear, in white, sibei hot.
den we came up with an idea. go take pic of dem or with them.

den we talk talk alot cock keep laugh, den in the end decide to go,
we saw 2 chio de in black, figure sui sui de but lose the white 1,
den a RED CAR CAME BY and picked them off, SMLJ
including MY WHITE DE.

nb sibei dulan, den left the chui ones. and errxin de.
den we go see, den emo already. den we decided to go
pasir ris ((:

zy lead, say got 1 tree damn imba got smell etc,
den the lane only can ride 1 bike,
i & ch sibei got skill, we 2 ppl ride the same lane,
side by side same speed, damn power,
of coz got go offtrack but we very imba ahahaha ((:
still can continue.

see zy and wen stuggling infront damn funn y LOL!
den we reach some part le zy tell us the part we
talk damn loud was 'that' place..

den at one point uphill,
got 2 guys and 2 gals cycle pass us,
coz ch 'died', lol
the yellow shirt cute, the other taller one in black quite chio,
we met again at the junction waiting traffic light,
dey tried to talk, said " we not going same direction? "
den we ignore dem, den they left, wa sad )): shld haf.

den continue cycle,
almost reaching there we all chu stunt,
damn zai right, all slow movement,
i taking vid also doing that,
legs on the bike.

http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=54762481387

*edit! the vid i take down le upload here*

ohman den cycle liao to there
wen said " i think downtowneast is behind "
LOL! den infront jitao is the downtowneast sign.
u see the middle there? alot chiobu there when we cycled near later
hahahaha. ((: those damn clubbers.

den we entered the park, alot chiobus walking arnd from t he chalets to outside,
den we cycled inside to sit down, den i sms amanda ask wad liverpool score,
LOL den nb sms wrong amanda, funny. ok la den we sit down rest talk cok,
den it started to seem like raining,

GG.

hahahaha. den we faster zhao go back,
to changi, den i prepare to ask the white take pic wif her.
nb she kena picked up by another red car PCB _|_
LOL den we go the opposite coffeeshop emo,

finally she come back le, i go ask, den alot things
cant say here la but i go ask all chua sai,
ask tio alot info :D
hahahahaha den she talk to me keep bend down
show me cleavage, omgomg lol :x

den hoh, i asked the name ((:
ok la nxt time go back can find her,

ok after that we cycle back, ch and mi leg cramp,
knnbpcb sibei imba, the thigh,
den rest awhile cycle back )):

we slowly cycle back very slowly coz,
830 den return ma,


u see this time b4 8, scenery damn nice,
this was where we met the jjc ppl last time,

ok la den reach back liao, go panjang i go buy soccer again,
den go home liao, sleep 1hr kena wake up den no mood sleep alr,
that night i slept at like, 6am? )):

erica - reply u also no use. u go australia 2 weeks alr. make me so lonely la.
enqi - wa. really ah LOL! why nv see u sia. i at that walkway whole day sia.