My Thoughts; Heaven

Sunday, May 31, 2009

morning go queensway opposite eat porridge again~
den go past alexandra, depot road, ministry of def,
henderson road, highway, old train station,
den finally reach...... guess where?

omg ur so wrong HAHAHA, its marina barrage. D:

go there jitao stomachache den go contribute stuff to
newater at the toilet HAHAHAA :x took some
pics after that ~ ((: the place is nice.. kinda windy and
alot of people playing at the fountains, but but but.....
when i look at the scene, it reminds me of wad i see while
night cycling at ECP. alot of malays lying there on their
mats. OMG luh. cfm hoh, soon, it will become like ECP
to Changi Village route. GG.

beautiful lyrics ~
has plentiful meaning as well~

I wanted you to be there when
I fall I wanted you to see me through it all
I wanted you to be the one I love
I wanted you, I wanted you
I wanted you to hold me in my sleep
I wanted you to show me what I need
I wanted you to know just how down deep
I wanted you, I wanted you

feeling so sweet ; 3:37 PM;Y

6am. fuck, have nt slept yet.
whhyyyyyyyyyyyy?

argh~ gotta sleep abit.
leaving for queensway in less
than 2hrs time. ):

feeling so sweet ; 6:05 AM;Y

woke @ afternoon. ppl nt free go arcade wif me sooo
i nua at home, chat msn lo. :x laze around house till..
6pm, went down to buy dinner for familt, den left
for city hall. go there dunno do wad lol.

reach liao i saw this guy & gal wearing hub clothes.
den dey giving out balloons. this little gal wanted 1.
the mother dun wan let her child take, nnb. the child
hand reaching out want take, i jitao take from the guy.

I DID A GOOD JOB HOH, MUM. :x

den go inside plaza sing. sit there nua awhile, den go
eat kfc, kfc full house so i decided to walk arnd shop.
i shop shop saw alot of beautiful clothes, den i saw
some people, den dun wan buy liao.

go back eat kfc, i continued to text someone ive been
texting on the mrt. i suddenly had... " deja vu "

i looked at the first 2 lines of the message i typed..
and told miself, " eh, these lines very familiar.. " den i
looked at my 10 o'clock, it was right there. the chiobu
in white. LOL! omg, i had seen this place like in the past?
maybe up to 3 years before i seen this place and typed
that message. ): hais.

i swear, the exact same words, same setting, same seat,
same everything. omfg. wad i thought of next kinda... zz

ok, moving on to carl's junior, we went to find dem there.
leo had a balloon exactly like mine. xD we rock ur socks.
den i damn bastard, i take other people's fries when they
left the table, put at leo's table. alvin, janielson those kiasu
people go eat LOL! i even told dem it was mi fries :x haaha

(EDIT: WUNYING SAY WHY NEVER INCLUDE THIS)
den before leaving, the people came over & suddenly
surrounded us, dey passed a balloon over to one of mi table
the people, den they started singing happy birthday!
kinda funny but... i couldnt laugh. idk why lol.
if its me, i will raise my hand and nod to the approving
and all-time curious public.

den hoh, we go shop shop. i suggested arcade. den all go up.
i spent $40 there. got people help me spend lo. :x got 1 guy
damn pro i keep watching him play. xD den i tried my luck
at a "Mickey & Minnie Wedding Doll Set." fuck i spent $10 on
it.

den go home.. took north train.. 1hr journey pcb, heng i got
my balloon to keep company LOL! den this xmm suddenly
replied my sms.. erm, i think, the reply took.. 6hrs? cool :x
yeah! had another person to sms on the train home liao.
wont so bored. reached west mall, went to find mi fren at
macdonald's. den i holding the balloon from starhub ma.

i invited alot of stares hehehee. special siol. ^^

den i tapao one cheeseburger home for bro, den i.. oso buy
a cone to lick on the way home. my mp3 was blastng -
Happy Days - Ai Otsuka. which kinda reminded me of stuff.

i wanna change fate.
change it to feat, and i know it will be a great feat.

fate - feat.
fate - f eat.
fate - f it.

Fate - FUCK IT.

feeling so sweet ; 1:58 AM;Y

Saturday, May 30, 2009

not able to sleep yo.

i only hope that i be granted this one wish of mine

feeling so sweet ; 4:23 AM;Y

yesterday play ball barefoot till whole feet
all blisters. so nid walk on side of foot. the pressure
on both feet has caused both my legs to feel pain
and strain. zzzzzzz. its so painful, i fell twice liao.

bought some breadtalk home coz it was happyhour
$10 for 10 breads. let my father have something to
eat at home ba, coz he very sick. he took leave
from work T.T

den today, mahjong lose $8. i zha hu one time but
kena forgiven ): hais. den... eat pepper lunch,
went school. sit around and think about stuff.

den etc etc till ~ come home.

wanted to blog alot alot more but i guess
i have no more mood to do anything already.
fuck everything.

feeling so sweet ; 1:45 AM;Y

Thursday, May 28, 2009

[edit : 2nd post today]

yeah! finally finished watching the finals
[: happy with the result. even won $70.
haha. not much but yeah. ^^ can eat and play dino!

Barcelona - Man Utd
2-0

feeling so sweet ; 4:49 AM;Y

afternoon, smsed alot of people.
decided on afew things den set off to meet ch.
we went to buy barca - man u game. den go
popular find my " ai otsuka 5th anniversary "
concert dvd. dun haf so sua. we went to the
arcade to play.

went inside, we saw a xmm, damn chio. hahaha,
those kind of xmm wear like ahlian ahlian.
but its not, this kind of xmm really has
" character " something i really adore. ^^

den we went to play alot of games. we used
my card to play, it really took my mind
off alot of things. the car racing was nt
bad. but the arcade ate 2hrs of our time.
and...... it was so much fun, i didnt reply
alot of people's sms ): kept feeling the
vibro the whole time but replied slowly.

finally we reached a game, a shooting dino
game, it was really fun lol. so much fun,
i bought a new power vip card ($20) just
to play it, we spent 6 credits ($1.40 each)
to complete the game. our scores were
the 1st & 2nd of the game. ((((: highscore!

the game damn fun, i wanna play it again.
kept laughing and etc. almost the end, the
xmm go sleep liao, so i can fully concentrate
on the game, not smsing every break :D

den we called wen & erica go meet for dinner
at gombak, took 187. i really felt alive.
its like.. just walking around. hahaha.

den we reach gombak, we alighted. i saw a
smiling face and a hand waving at us. OMG
IT WAS SHEL TOH TING TING. she was on the
same bus as us. omg luh hahahah! gg D:
i didnt know!

then, i called her & she said after her
dinner she will come find us for dinner.
just to chat etc. ^^ yeah!

reached the place. waited erica and wen
come down. the imba auntie kept asking us
to buy beer, one bottle each. wtf? do
we or I look so paikia? like we drinkers?
i guess so ;x hahahahaa. den keep asking
leh knncb. like 5-6times. wen & erica
come down, she come ask us share beer.
omg luh.

den talk talk talk cock etc until.......
8+pm. den we left for wen's house below
that beancurd stall. we bought eggtart.
kinda nice (: recommended de. talked alot
really warm feeling haha.. something i
cannot get these few days.

den 9+, dey go home le, amanda at home
dun wan come down haha. den akshay at
hospital. kuan yee dunno doing wad lol.
we went to the kopitiam beside so i can
tapao prata for my brother at home.

i saw meiqi, she wearing headpieces ah.
so cant hear me, den i sms and call her.
she bo pick lol. she just ended her bbdc
practical. den i & ch went to bustop, sit
sit talk abit. deciding where to watch
the barca - man u soccer game. pubs in
town or kopitiam? hard choice lol. so
i headed home first. meiqi called back
& explained etc, den i learned she stayed
in CCK. nxt time easy find her le :x

reach home liao, everyone tell me that
they no mood go out pub liao. all got
something on the nxt day. even weiwei
got presentation. argh the business
admin ppl. D: so i decided to stay
home as well. and blog etc~

**********************************

ai otsuka is a talented singer,
pretty, cute, sweet. voice and all.
and, she is able to bring out
the meaning of the songs she sing.

tears - ai otsuka.

目にうつる　桜の舞う　ある日の午後
目にうつる　君と僕の　つないだ手と手

あの日のコト
忘れた　わけじゃないけど
さよなら　しようと　思うんだ

君のコト　思い出せば　涙があふれてくる
君のコト　思い出せば　涙があふれてくる

大切に　思っていた　僕の恋しいヒト
大切な　時間さえも　あげられなかった
1人にして　悲しませた　僕の失った恋しいヒト

君のコト　思い出せば　涙があふれてくる
君のコト　思い出せば　涙があふれてくる

君のコト　思い出せば　涙があふれてくる
君のコト　思い出せば　涙があふれてくる

feeling so sweet ; 1:05 AM;Y

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

contemplating; what i do everynight.
advice; something i will never listen to, why?
feelings; because i trust myself more than anyone.
realisation: doesn't help. because i'm stubborn.
emo; the aftermath of everything.
wishes; praying & crying everynight doesn't cut it.

becareful of what you wish for.

feeling so sweet ; 12:48 AM;Y

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

it was.. 345am in the morning. suddenly...
my eyes caught something on my msn list.
i wonder if im doing the right thing...?

(click)

feeling so sweet ; 3:46 AM;Y

Monday, May 25, 2009

just back from movie & sakae.
sakae i only eat.. 2 plate x2 cream + crab stick.
and of coz green tea x 10000000 refills HAHA

ok den, watched night at the museum 2.
msged someone ask timing, in the end dunno.
so nvm lol. ^^ 1hr50min. quite funny luh. haha.
den abit jealous :x T.T nvm.

den take mrt home with lwl. saw liyana on the
way to school. i tot she carrying mac sia. but
is her dinner hahaha. so hardworking people.

reaching home, i did a quiz. a xmm de. but ahlian.
damn cute luh hahaha. omg *hearts*

pic 1 :x

click:
enlarge

sibei ke ai right???!! HAHAHAH. omg omg *faints*

stop giving me these kind of dreams, please.
fuck it makes me hate sleeping so much now.

feeling so sweet ; 11:25 PM;Y

i dc-ed from garena thrice today. one thanks
to mi lanjiao router. the other thanks to
hub's monthly maintainence. knnb 2 dc liao.
recorded. D: emo hahahaha. somemore both
times owning lor. hais.. fuck sia T.T
mi email reached 20500 unread mail @ 3am. sui

anyway, happy 3rd anniversary kia ^^.
brings back alot of memories ^^ hahaha.

我知道

从来没想过
不能再和你牵手
委屈时候
没有你陪着我心痛
一切都是我太过骄纵
以为你会懂
一直忘了说
我有多感动
我知道你还是爱着我
虽然分开的理由
我们都以接受
你知道我会有多难过
所以即使到最后
还微笑着要我加油
我知道你还放不下我
才会在离开时
闭着眼没有回头
我们都知道彼此心中
其实这份爱没有停过

Nice song by BY2 =D

they last time dance imba nia.
now singing oso buay pai <3
if they wear those xmm step-lian
kind of clothes den pose wa (Y)
den i will (6) oso liao hahaha

anyway, does TOP bling bling like L.E.D? D:

*lollipop lyrics*

feeling so sweet ; 2:58 AM;Y

Saturday, May 23, 2009

today i decided to blog early. coz later i will be
extremely busy hahaha. (:

this morning slept at 7am. den woke up at 1030,
wanted to prep go paintball de. den suddenly.
msn~ weee & skype till 12pm. mop floor etc, den
wan leave liao i receive sms wait for kyo, den ok
lor i go west mall slack den buy ramli burger miss
a 5mins & 6 mins train. damn sad LOL! i buy $8.

1 ramli chicken & 1 beef special burger + jap pizza.
den i got onto train, the smell damn imba. make
me wanna eat it right there and then HAHAHA.
but dun wan luh, i see the uncle keep looking at
my food, almost drooling liao. let him drool more.
xD

den reach liao i take bus there. got chiobus~ woo
reach le watch dem play while i eat my food.
gave xj my chicken special. ^^ den, see dem play
play play. play liao go back sembawang.

most of us decided to eat pastamania :x
nb even if dey dun wan i oso cfm will go solo eat.
i ate $20. 1 chicken bolognese upsize & combo
A & B. so its 2 soup, 2 drink, 1 bread. i gave
1 drink to bruce coz i damn full hahahaha. :x

spammmzxzxzx cheese ~ & salt~ woo. hahaha.

den amanda call me, always wrong timing luh.
lol cant help her check movie time slot ):
at least 3/5 times she call i will be outside.

den wan go town shopping de but i low on cash
then, den bruce oso nt enough to lend me so nvm
i follow the rest to amk hub to watch movie, but
i nt, i wanted to go home de. ): coz i watch b4
angels and demons. reach liao no seats.

so decided go bishan watch, i damn stupid,
i tot bishan is the LEFT of amk. so i follow dem
coz i wan go home. LOL! den in the end, i
was heading towards the RIGHT. OMG LA.
jingting stupid stupid oso go right side LOL

den dey alight, we go down straight to raffles
den change green line go home. wa.. only
got me, jingting and param, i keep talk to her
in chinese forget abt param LOL! SORRY~

at nite can find ch mahjong de, or go wif
sec sch gang go play pool. but tired~ hahahah

anyway (: reached home safely. i walk pass
sgpools shop, it started glowing. wow~
like ramen gal the movie the shop glow~
so i entered....

i still do (:

feeling so sweet ; 11:30 PM;Y

wake up headache again, bought ramli den met nelly
go school, den go fc3 buy fruit juice. morning
keep go toilet nb, go school liao oso stomachache.
and that freaking throat of mine is not helping either.

forgottent to call back & reply tons of people,
including nelly & ng & corrine. ): now all slping le so..

anyway happy sia ^^ hahahaha.

feeling so sweet ; 12:12 AM;Y

Thursday, May 21, 2009

i had forgotten what happened on tuesday but...
hmm nvm xD. lets start on what happened today.

i woke up, my throat feeling like hell. it was 6am.
i dreamt of my sec school clique, hmm, afew people
were not there, and afew others were there. like
dehui, valerie neo & stuff. what the hell.........

it was in a place like a shopping mall @ 10pm.
i have dreamt of this place many many times.
where the walls, halls & everything was twisted,
but i have not been there in real life.

i saw valerie calling out to me, den i wanted to run
there. but woke up. went back to sleep.
surprisingly, if i were to fall back asleep within 1min,
of any dream, i can continue it. then then.......
i met my clique, we talk cock sing song buy clothes
den suddenly i gt sms, ask me go back sch ton.

omg luh. sibei anti climax can, i forgotten my dream.
but something happened that was so interesting,
i told myself to blog about it. ok nvm i lazy delete.

go club, met phelia and gang, hehe heng nv go earlier,
if not nid buy her cookies. den go club slack,
went to play ball wif jingting and junhao awhile,
den go see squash ppl train. wa alot imba de (y).

den i tot to myself, " wa today alot ppl wear nicenice "
den go upstairs to t19 eat free dinner. hahaha.
thanks dbit bonding day (: weeeeeeee
finally i went to see doctor @ 8+pm. went home
wif nelson. xD

feeling so sweet ; 1:12 AM;Y

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

5am liao. think i go become a monk suan liao.
since i cant control this heart of mine D:
wake up den blog ): eyes swollen.

feeling so sweet ; 4:43 AM;Y

Monday, May 18, 2009

sitting in class. stupid tong shihui beside me,
remind me of sad things D: sucker. emo emo.
den lucky got 1 xmm try cheer me up.
use handwriting tool in msn draw 2 circles
for me. coz i say i wan go corner draw circles lol

anw, tonight going out movie : angels & demons.
either sakae/pizza hut dinner ! yay xD
& i'm cold luh no jacket T.T

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!
fuck this lol. kthxbai.

feeling so sweet ; 4:56 PM;Y

Happy Birthday Kellyn!! [the DNB]

slept @ 5am
woke @ 6am
opposite queensway shopping ctr @ 830am
cdans @ 3pm
bowling @ 330pm
west mall burger king @ 530pm

thats how i spent sunday, sry ch cannot mj again ):
bowling was fun. cdans was where i spent my sec
school days, chionging laser quest & lan & bowling.
im a fucking pro laser quest player (: too bad today
cannot show off my skills hahahaha. and didnt
expect qian hui to b so pro in bowling lol.

akshay spoke to me, saying he jetlag etc,
wanna meet us peeps one day & tentatively,
its next weekend, where everyone is supposedly
free. he asked me to ask samantha, ernest those.
i found myself laughing so hard, idk i was laughing.
ok no link nvm continueZXZX.

so onto being bored @ 430am now. later gt sch nb.
i decided to spoil a pub game using a sub garena acc.
well, its only a 5min+ game. and it was a ladder room.
im YuufaChan in here, its nt my main Garena Acc of coz,
please do watch if ur sibei boliao~

Download DotA Replay

(EDIT) 5am
omgomg hahahaa, i found something DAMN mean.
nelson chong posted this on skype.

Be careful when you choose a name for your child:

- Anne Chang (in Mandarin) - dirty
- Anne Chin (in Mandarin) - keep quiet
- Faye Chen (in Mandarin) - dusty
- Carl Cheng (in Hokkien) - buttock
- Monica Cheng (in Hokkien) - touching your buttocks
- Michael Tan (in Cantonese) - selling eggs
- Lucy Liaw (in Hokkien) - you are dead
- Judy Soo (in Malay) - lost in Gamble
- Jane Tan (in Mandarin) - fried egg
- Suzie Leow (in Hokkien) - Llost till death
- Henry Tan (in Hokkien) - let you wait
- Henry Mah (in Mandarin) - hate your mum
- Corrine Tai (in Hokkien) - poor fellow
- Paul Chan (in Mandarin) - bankrupt
- Nelson Tan (in Mandarin) - bird laying eggs
- Jason Tan (in Mandarin) - thief laying eggs
- Leslie Tong (in Mandarin) - rubbish bin
- Nelson Chong (in Mandarin) - worms infested bird
- Carmen Tng (in Hokkien) - Leg hair long
- Connie Mah (in Cantonese) - call your mum
- Francis Yip (in Cantonese) - sweet potato leaf
- Danny See (in Hokkien) - squeeze you to death
- Rosie Teng (in Hokkien) - screw and nail
- Kenneth Tsai (in Hokkien) - like shit
- Maisy Koh (in Cantonese) - never die before

[1:33:33 AM] Nelson: personal atk sia

when we saw his name in there, we all laughed.

*after alot of LOLs from everyone*

[1:34:55 AM] Nelson: least his eng got standard
[1:35:02 AM] Nelson: others tell me bird lay worm

*more LOLs*

looks like my birthday wish didn't come true...
someone told me to wish harder, instead of giving up,
maybe ur right, i'll try wishing harder, although i know
i already wished my hardest. hahaha. i'll still believe (:

feeling so sweet ; 4:22 AM;Y

Sunday, May 17, 2009

430am. unable to sleep and fathom anything.
my life in a mess. soon my room will be.

"everything is not as it's sold"

feeling so sweet ; 4:22 AM;Y

Saturday, May 16, 2009

omg, i got woken up by a phone call at 230pm,
den had dialogue session... until 330pm.
den come back sit at comp, den nid go out @ 6pm.
was supposed to go pool at 1pm wif ory & gang.
den movie wif another gang. but too bad i nid sleep.
& later maybe night if parents let,
will be back late, most probably @ gombak
or panjang liao xP
blehZXZXZX. HAHAHA. pigu!

anyway, i smiled when i saw this note,
in which i was tagged,
and it was done by amanda ^^

K. KAWENG!
1) How old were you when you first met?
- we were 9 year old then?

2) How did you meet?
- i saw him bullying my friend so i went to scold him! LOL.

3) Ever danced with this person?
-nah. i say alr.. i am waiting for MINHO!

since i nid go change blogskin & post later,

i let u all hear song song first ^^ its a nice song~
and.... THANKS TO JOAN FOR INTROING ME
please do listen ^^

feeling so sweet ; 5:36 PM;Y

wa i really buay tahan liao. sleep is needed.
now its 5am. later wake up den blog ba ^^

sorryyyyyyyyyy. <3

feeling so sweet ; 5:03 AM;Y

Friday, May 15, 2009

my head's fucking hurting again. had another
heart pain relapse today in school. i wonder...

i today bought 2 meals of subway, coz uber hungry,
one teriyaki chicken, one subway meltz i think.
hardly eat dem so dis time try lo. hahaha. one large
meal, one +$1, actually is same =.= different price nia.

den i got the honeydew sago bubble tea, how to finish,
so i offer chad & jingting gang my other drink, *clean*
den gave a cookie to xj, the other cookies i keep for
people ^^. coz i owe dem de. ahhaaha. den hoh, i go
slack, slack slack awhile go sit outside at the window.

played music out loud and watched the freesbie players
train. hahaaha. so boliao rite, den the most imba thing
happen, antrax attacked our room, LOL! only got 1
phelia inside, i think her nose block thats why can
withstand the bio attack. all of us outside hiding, waiting
for the aftermath. :x

anyway, here's a shot of someone wearing a skirt,
once every 5 years. guess who? i made her stand up
so i can take a pic * i nt chiko!!! *
LOL! so mean of me :x

hmm aiya, i still haven contacted the person who
was supposed to tell me something, sibei emo haha.
idk why. why. why. why. why. why.

music to me now is like Admiral Proudmoore's
Ghost Ship, the S.S. CoCo, im under its effects.

Description :
Allies are doused in Captain CoCo's Rum,
inebriating them for 15% bonus movespeed and
numbness to incoming damage, causing them to
feel only half of the pain now and half after the
Rum wears off.

after i stop listening to music,
the effects get to me, fully. ):
whateverrrrrrrrrr.

this sunday, akshay is coming back from india,
last time nnb whenever he talk, i will jitao,
" action~ "
den he complain to teacher i kena parent call.
pcb childish sucker LOL! but now grow up le
ba, wun so imba. and u come back at imba time,
all in NS liao. hahahaha. so i think max can only
meet me, amanda & kuan yee for a meal tgt.

now i do not really regret taking my gems,
Love Relations For Life – A Journey of Romance,
Love & Sexuality .

sounds sissy ya? but its really meaningful.
it makes me think alot, really alot but thanks to
it, i see sad faces every week, even when i look
in the mirror, there's another sad face i see.

feeling so sweet ; 2:18 AM;Y

Thursday, May 14, 2009

Replies

corrine: hahah replied @ ur blog ^^.
phelia: wad trouble huh? i dont get u LOL! tell meee
april: omg luh, i edited the reply at the earlier post(below)

fuck i told myself to sleep by 12. but got
imba people, mVp)Ownage- , he so imba 'pro',
that got him on whose team cfm lose de LOL!
so pro till i 20mins troll solo his doom, got
threads, eaglehorn, quarterstaff. ^^

so just play, somemore i rarely spend time
with them hahaha. always jio me pool i never
go ); sry hahaha.

now wigan - man utd. must watch. mother
keep calling my phone ask me sleep ): sad
330am liaooooooo. sleepy le ah hahha.

anyway today go school lunch @ fc4.
wif feiwen, doug, jiawei, gavin, shiyun,
saw tingting and su come up from their club.

and first time see the thai cuisine stall got xmm.
x: so go buy their food. hahaha. anyway its nt
for the xmm, its for the tom yum :x

den go gems @ 2pm. sandra again nv come D:
den shiyun crash my gems, coz she nid go at 3
den nowhere to go, doug and fw go arcade.
today the lesson very imba, i looked at everyone
they all seem so sad. den the teacher told us
a story.

only those at the gems will understand, i jitao
emo, coz of the story being told at the gems,
i felt like one of dem. T.T so really damn sad.
**** looked so sad also. i wonder why.

after that, i go fc5, den walk arnd, emo sia hahaha.
cant think straight, den slowly go club, lychee at
club sia. surprise x200 :x hahaha. den i go moberly
coz dbit bonding day, i help move chairs. altho i ddm
i damn helpful can HAHAHA. another reason is coz
phelia say wads his name again? aiya someone going
perform so i go sarpok lor LOL!

den in the end, i go there become guinea pig for
something :x whole day be guinea pig. until arnd 5+.
running around school doing stuff. confidential.

i wonder if it is fate, because, i met someone
while running arnd sp, and what she told me,
totally shattered me, she told me something,
which i totally didn't expect, and....
i didn't know if i should be happy.. or sad.
i guess its happy and sad.

den i go play basketball. my shooting nv deprove sia.
7/10 2-point balls choooop~ nv even touch ring lo.
so chio. i think is coz we playing beside skates training.
alot hot gals (y) ^^. den win the 2 hanfeng friend le.

go back club emo, play chinese chess (pcc) wif leo,
he pro sia hahaha. keep win me (: altho i win 2/3 times,
tyco de. den i go fc5 wif dey all nua until 930pm.
saw peiwen, she wave to me, i waved back, omg luh.
hahaha, if u nv wave i wun wave de lor, coz i very shy ^^

"你的天真~　我想珍惜"

feeling so sweet ; 2:48 AM;Y

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Replies~

sy : u always like that lol. i think tml can meet u all ba. ty
corrine : hihi (: ever so lively.
april : 4th month (: u got xim LOL! hahaha
(sounds like tgt for 4months =.= but is calling her 四月)
hanfeng : nt watching porn ? :x
wp : wad thing? lol

some tidbits before we start. was on skype.. when..

[11:45:00 PM] AlphaHasballsofsteel: i sometimes
[11:45:09 PM] AlphaHasballsofsteel: just wish, my image aint so bad u noe
[11:45:18 PM] AlphaHasballsofsteel: even criminials will stop and turn when a child falls down
[11:45:26 PM] Alvin: coz dey want see wat happen

D: so mean ! buwieee~

ramen gal was 2/5. bullshit i think. my gems cher
say nice yuan lai is scam $6 ): LOL! emo. hahaha,
cck arcade always gt hot gal dancing :x, den
after movie we subway, subway subway den we
go harvey norman buy my new earpiece.
white white de. coz i forgot to bring back my
creative de home from lanshop on sat/sun.

ytd nite was disturbing everyone on msn.
even joan ong. keep calling me chiko, pervy, ):
using mic say me, i on earpiece damn loud
hurt me... LOL! when i did nothing wrong yo.

i heard today that valerie wanted to borrow kyo's
ext harddisc den hoh, joan say inside got porn,
like alpha would haf? WTF? WHY LINK TO ME?
so sad luh. but i'm so famous :D maybe its a gd thing

okok so today, went to school ~ went to find phelia
to eat lunch. OMG IM SO SRY WL, ****, **** & ....
coz no lunch kaki. nelson go do fyp le. ): dun kill me

den hoh, i received a call from the king of burden,
xuanjun, he at dover waiting for me, so he come
along lo eat lunch. den we go fc6, met mi classmates,
knn that xj, go sit wif kellyn, patrina & hermi,
pangseh me, heng got ppl pei ^^. den talk cock lo.

kellyn luff like dumb shit. LOL! especially when i
said " old chang kee hospital " and started laming.
wa i damn lame can? behind phelia was kyo, jingting,
and old birds. jiaying came later idk why. lol

den phelia zhao go find cher, i go library play fb 10min.
den zhao go change ezlink, saw kristin twice. saw
evelyn png the gal i everyday make cry during pri 6.
hi5 arjun u sux LOL! den change liao go back up to t19,
went there collect my bag, thanks fierce shy for keeping.
at the lift, i hear someone shouting " kaweng ", i chua sai,
poly only few people call me that T.T SO TOUCHING.

it was sandra, den beside her was that squirrel,
i wonder why she called squirrel =.=, the shun ya.
omg so touched, they call me by my name. :D
dey just ended lesson, talk few sentence i zhao liao.

i den went to find nelly furtado's fan @ 2135. played
dota AI wif that ass. play finish liao i go clubroom. D:
go inside. saw petrine, stare at her, she stare back,
den idk wad she say, but i just continue staring, den
she talk somemore stuff i cant comprehend, so i jitao
ignore walk inside put bag LOL!

den wait sit sit awhile, saw eileen walk pass, first time
look inside dmit club lor, still say always look, heng u
wave or i wud squeeze ur brain out liao HAHAHA.

i then went into fc3 to buy fruit strawberry mango
juice and talk to her, wanted to take a pic of her hair,
nice wad, where got ugly & funny? D:

budden got 3 guys arnd her, so paiseh dun wan luh :x
den i go buy drinks finish talk to some year 2s.
kena dao, so heartbreaking luh ): i wonder...
den i went off to find nel go home. met ming, juan &
their gang also. den dey suddenly disappear ):

reached home at 7. emo emo. shld haf stayed in sch.
hais. D: but nvm luh. hahahaha. get to eat dinner
wif family. (: den i now here i am.

checked soccer. sleague young lions vs super reds 0-5.
won $23. coz i buy half time super reds win odds 2.3
i dun buy risky bets already. just safe bets to treat ppl
cookies ^^ hahahah. and extra spending power.

You'll never understand the reason,
until you look deep enough into the cut to see the
emotional pain that put it there.

feeling so sweet ; 11:45 PM;Y

Monday, May 11, 2009

omfg luh. that night we cycle along that road,
i didnt know so many things happen.

quoted from petrine's blog :yeah i promised to quit using vulgarities
after poly starts but this is really DAMN
FUCKING SCARY LA. remember that i went for
overnight cycling... there were about 50 people
who went for it but we were all separated into groups.
some cycled awhile, some went back after eating at
changi village, some went to och blah blah.

i went back after eating at changi village so we were
cycling along the changi lane near the airport then
it started raining, so about 9 of us were stuck under
the shelter doing nothing except talking. 

i was like sitting at the most corner and i was
already fucking scared like hell though leo was
standing even more outside. then i was like sitting
down and not really talking and just looking into
the woods.. staring into blank space then the
lightning struck and

I FUCKING SAW SOMETHING HANGING
ON THE TREE. WTF LAH I REALLY SCARED LIKE ONE BIG FUCK
i didnt know what to do so i started looking into
corrines eyes but still scared like one fuck.
i remember my bro told me not to say anything when
i see things just keep quiet and pretend like theres
nothing BUT I BUAY TAHAN LA, SCARED LIKE ONE FUCK
STILL CANNOT CYCLE OFF BECAUSE OF THE FUCKING RAIN. 

IMMEDIATELY BROKE DOWN LA. cried like one fuck and
exchanged seats with junhao. walao really DAMN SCARED
LA I SHIVERED LIKE FUCK SIA IT WAS LIKE SO NEAR CAN
CB, then right, i thought maybe cuz i havent slept
for so many hours and that my eyes were playing
tricks on me. 

& hanfeng blog :

heres
the fucking creepy part... I'm still on that
damn straight road... i heard that its 7++km
no wonder so long... Okay tats not the point
hahaha xD The point is that i ride halfway...
alone... shivering... trying to sing to make 
me less shiver-ing...
Then sing halfway.... i heard a very manly
and creepy moan... as in deep voiced...
It sounded like "OI" or something close
to it... I freak out abit cos i was alone
on the straight road... so i looked around...
then cos there was still thunder... then
lightning flashed... it lit up the whole
forest tat is beside the road... and fuck...
i swear i saw something like a dead corpse
hanging on a tree... and so i faster
cycle .... I was totally scared and wanted
to try to catch up to the front ppl...
Phew... i totally just looked in front and
cycle... though i have that kind of
feeling that something is in the woods all along...

if i were to point fault, that road has alot of
imba stuff happen de, wtf man. hais.

somemore some retards still there screaming
vulgarities, lucky i ask dem diam. that road
even i dare not scream or shout vulgarities leh.

and i lost many things there b4. ):
hope the people who had weird encounters are
all right T.T guess its my fault as well i took that
route. but its the most common and shortest.

now going off to watch ramen girl at west mall (:

feeling so sweet ; 5:26 PM;Y

no one knows what i'm thinking.
no one knows how i feel.
no one. not even you (:

people ask, everyday, without fail,
what am i doing up so late?
i'd always answer, ' thinking '.

but i don't even know if i'm thinking,
i don't even know what i'm doing.

why do i ask myself questions,
when i'm the one answering?
if i knew, i would not be asking them myself?

last sms came in @ 2:21am.
52 ppl online @ 3:15am.
people one by one drifting off to lalaland.
hahahaha i still remember who i learnt this term from,
princess sl? princess shi lin? slger was her nick i think.

***

that night during night cycling, my heart hurt so much.
emotionally as well, but it was painful literally,
i wonder why, it was so fucking painful, could feel it beating.
i thought, i would not make it back that night,
it was just so painful, not my chest, but the heart.

i wanted to take out my phone and send last words,
to people i loved and cared for.
to those fuckers who ruined my life.
to my mum and dad & bro.
to my buddies/brothers/sisters.

but the battery was dangling at 1%,
and people would not be able to contact me.
i swear, i expected not to return that night.
maybe i'm better off dead, yeah.

why let me continue living this insufferable life?
see? another question i can't answer.

i'm letting this song play one last time before i hit the sack,
i dun wanna dream of anything tonight, PLEASE.
i had enough of those crap nightmares, fuck off subconscious.
you dun even let me off when i sleep, what more do u want?
its already 4:15.

blow the candles out, looks like a solo tonight~

feeling so sweet ; 2:29 AM;Y

Sunday, May 10, 2009

went out at 7+, came back after midnight,
walking home from the bustop, my legs nearly
give way. keep cramp la and ache. night cycling
is so imba ):

i wanted stay out whole night de but... (:
tomorrow 6 nid zhao go queensway ^^
den 9am go gombak, den afternoon JP,
night activities afternoon time settle.

FOR (Freshmen Orientation Reunion) was on Friday.
was disappointed with the people who helped.

well nvm, so i arrived at bedok, met xj, leo, imran & zaid.
reaching there, we went to the pit, i went mac, hungry~~

finally people started arriving and stuff.
den yeah yeah. rent bikes and stuff. woo.
i ate freaking little can? hais.

thanks phelia for going 7-11 and treating me a big gulp.

hmm, at least i got to know the freshies better.
corrine still goes around poking people,
and i didnt expect some gals to be so hiong,
more hiong than the guys as in garang. :x
lychee's hair was chio. phelia still as...
qianhui still as blurrrrrrr. LOL
den a sibei ke ai de xmm dun wan go FOR. ):

okok so....... 1130pm
eldwin and i den discuss wad route lor.
in the end, it was decided since got burdens who
only wanna travel halfway den go back,
we travel to changi village along coast den
those who wanna go OCH go lor, dun wan go,
go back. we had like 30+ people LOL!

cfm got problems de luh. we stopped a total of 3 times,
from kit runners to end of ecp. liyana bang ppl.
jingting fell down loads of times ): kinda feel for her

heng i got handiplus and alcohol swabs :x hehe.
dunno where i steal from de also :x

dey ask me lead them the route so i lead lo.
damn boring in front, no chiobu to see also, that night.
apart from the pjc gals :D who appeared earlier.

den got some retards kept shouting and screaming
vulgarities along that long stretch of 7.9km route.
the long long black route along terminal 2.
sibei brainless. that route one of the most 'imba' de.

ok so reach the park de first toilet. i decided to let
them take a break there go toilet and rest while i go
wait for the others to direct them in.

my 'grouping' got raam, simoun, xuanjun, petrine, jiehui
anna, johann, junhao, corrine & 2 more freshies idk de.

ok den reach 2nd toilet, we rest den fill water.
the imba water cooler max fill only less than
half of a bottle nia coz the pressure damn cock.

D: den we cycle cycle, pass alot of malays sleeping
knn if we nt careful jitao run over their head/face
ccb wan sleep sleep elsewhere la. petrine nearly
kill someone lo. i nearly oso. coz i keep look back
den nv see where i going _|_

ok. reach liao changi village. police come chase bapok
den we nth to see liao go eat at one of the muslim.

got : alvin, xuanjun, me, petrine, daniao, yihan,
han feng & 3 other freshies. D:

we order chicken murtabak den keep make lame joke.
knn lame until buay tahan. all keep drop head.

finally it was time to head for OCH, like..
15 ppl went in. wun continue the details.
but climbing up the hill on bike to the chalet,
i chiong the first as i had to lead. my legs
fucking cramped and ached. i still go push on.
now damn chui laaaaa.

left liao, we see the sky the lightning,
wa damn power, so we go back a kopitiam go toilet,
D: den den.. den.. we chiong back ahhh.

reach the black black route, we kena ambush by
storm. yes the xmen cha bo, the storm so hiong
wa knnb jibai. the trees bend 45 degrees,
we can't cycle fast coz wind against us,
our legs ache, teeth chattering, and rain
hitting my eyeballs. i had to look down and not
front so i could continue cycling, plus the
imba lightning lights up the whole forest.
damn chio.

finally, we all hide in one small pavilion.
one pavilion is only meant for 4 ppl nia D:

the 'we all' were me, weiliang, kyo, yihan,
daniao, simoun, raam, han feng, anna, johann,
param, eldwin, janielson + 2 freshies.

we were clubbing yo~ *looks like right?*

imagine all of us hiding inside, den dunno which sucker go take pic.

i think its nt me la, :x hahaha, ok luh its me =.=

we finally chiong back after rain die down.
jingting, corrine etc all at later pavilion.

after we reached back, we return bike.
i go eat mac den go home on mrt... the end.
spent $50+ dollars, borrowed $2,
lost 2 precious things that very day...

had to rush finish coz suddenly someone called me.
time check : 4:15am . i would have faked going sleep le,
if not for the teary and choking voice i hear.
see i am such a nice person. :x

feeling so sweet ; 3:33 AM;Y

Saturday, May 9, 2009

there will be 2 posts today.
one about you guys, one abt FOR
(Freshmen Orientation Reunion) (:

i wanna thank you guys for being there for me.
nowadays, who will offer to go with you all
the way down to queenstown just to buy your
shoes, etc? & really do spare a thought for you.

take wen, for example, i wanted to get a pair
of basketball shorts for night cycling.
but i just asked him where to buy, and he offered
following me to queensway and other places to
look for them. but when i told him i didn't
have time since the event was the next day,
he told me he'd come down to west mall to look
for the pants, although chances are that shops
may have closed.

everyone of you would have the same.
that's y im really very grateful to have known
you guys.

look at the people around me nowadays,
who only care about themselves, look at the world.
i should not fucking be a nice person.
coz for fuck i be a nice person &
be fucking recognized for being a fucker.

you guys are the cheebyekias who are cowards.
look at me, i'm a fucking hero who died in war,
and no one will remember me, protecting everyone
and your fucking asses. and you cowards who hide,
are promoted coz u survived war but did nothing.

so i would like to dedicate a song to you guys
( except the fuckers (: *dun feel guilty* )

Lyrics + Meaning

Staring out at the rain with a heavy heart
It's the end of the world in my mind
( pure agony )
Then your voice pulls me back like a wake up call
I've been looking for the answer
( for being there for me )
Somewhere
I couldn't see that it was right there
But now I know what I didn't know
( for opening my eyes )

Because you live and breathe
Because you make me believe in myself when nobody else can help
( for being my friends )
Because you live, girl
My world has twice as many stars in the sky
( ...'her'? )

It's alright, I survived, I'm alive again
( dun wish to comment (: )
Cuz of you, made it through every storm
What is life, what's the use if you're killing time
I'm so glad I found an angel
( angels on earth )
Someone
Who was there when all my hopes fell
( *tears* )
I wanna fly, looking in your eyes
( sounds gay )
Because you live and breathe
Because you make me believe in myself when nobody else can help
( especially amanda )
Because you live, girl
My world has twice as many stars in the sky
Because you live, I live
( i've always wondered.. )

Because you live there's a reason why
I carry on when I lose the fight
I want to give what you've given me always
( hahaha. =/ many ways to interpret )

Because you live and breathe
Because you make me believe in myself when nobody else can help
( not only you guys, but the people who sms t comfort me )
Because you live, girl
My world has twice as many stars in the sky
( now i ask myself, 'her'? )

Because you live and breathe
Because you make me believe in myself when nobody else can help
( special thanks to you suckers (: )
Because you live, girl
My world has everything I need to survive
( if only it were true )

Because you live, I live, I live

feeling so sweet ; 6:37 PM;Y

Friday, May 8, 2009

its 4am. fuck.
i cant sleep.

IMSOMNIA.

feeling so sweet ; 3:54 AM;Y

wen was being a very awesome friend (:
accompanied me to west mall to shop.
even tho it was 9 already when the idea suddenly..
plus the shops all close at 9.

hahahaha. so i went out, was late as usual.
reached, looked arnd, bought wad i wanted,
den wen bought something... guess wad?

a huang jing lun card. OMG =.=

damn imba, somemore when choosing
the cards got squealing. omggggg.

hahahaha (: plus i'm not ok.
i have a very bad feeling. totally

feeling so sweet ; 1:35 AM;Y

Thursday, May 7, 2009

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TINGTING HAHAHA

still dunno y ur called shel :x
and i haven tot wad to buy u ):

another 2 weird things happened:
melody and april was on msn!!!

WTF?! so imba.
its like me going play hello kitty online pls

anw,
boredom. boredom. boredom.

lollipop i might nt be going alr. sry guys.
my mood was killed.

and someone told me, that when that person
was high when she read thru some chatlogs,
but that person didnt tell me why or whose logs.
maybe mine? or some other? i wudnt noe.

i wondered, if i can, if i did the same,
well i dug thru the piles of thrash talk...

finally i found something, something which,
made me smile. imagine an idiot smiling at his
laptop, at 1am? while countless msn msges
spammed at him and losers asking him for dota
*sry guys*

((: hahaha. i feel so happy.
yet kinda sad & regretted wad i said earlier

i want to go back in time~ to exactly half a year ago~

rarrr~ it cant come true.
no matter how much i pray. (:

*edit* added @ 130am.

guess how i spent the last 3 days nt slping?
people sending me songs thru the nite,
playing dota, playing facebook,
thinking, reflecting, but mainly,
just entertaining each other.

all by the coolness of valerie.
& some others (:

see i got xim blog abt u leh. (:

feeling so sweet ; 12:56 AM;Y